Blame it On the Damn Vodka
by Sandileina
Summary: Niou and Shishido have pretty volatile tempers, yes? Yes. So it’s not really a good idea for them to get drunk in the same house, is it…?


**Disclaimer: **Here's a random fact: My brain doesn't work on weekdays. Here's another random fact: I don't own Prince of Tennis, or any of the characters. :)

**Rating: **PG-13, I reckon

**Warnings: **Language (strong), shounen-ai/yaoi, Niou.

**Summary: **Niou and Shishido have pretty volatile tempers, yes? Yes. So it's not really a good idea for them to get drunk in the same house, is it…?

**Author's notes:** Another Rikkai Drabblething. **You don't have to have read the ones that come before this, but it might help a bit. **The drabblething list goes:

**Times of Stress**

**Passing the Time**

**How to ask out Marui Bunta**

**Four Days Later**

**October Ice**

**Because I Love You**

**Evil**

**Further Nonsense**

**Dear Diary**

**Kind of… the same**

**100 Word Challenges**

**Driver in a Hurry, Child in a Coma**

**Doctor, doctor!**

**The Woes of Solomon Grundy**

**I'm Not Going**

**The Little Things**

**I Had To**

**He WHAT?!**

**Operation: Christmas Party**

**Being Fukubuchou**

**Once Upon a Time**

**My Brother Bunta**

**Dear Diary: Living with Niou-senpai**

**A Morning at the Pool**

**This is Love**

**SFRR**

**And So It Begins**

**Most Unexpected**

**This Is March 5th**

**No Small Wonder**

**The Last Day Of A Stage in Life**

**Back to Basics**

**Blame it On the Damn Vodka**

Special Mention to **Hropkey** for guessing the whole 'Back to Basics' thing:o She's smartimified, y'all. Give her some love. –Smooches-

Kudos as well to **KiriharaAkaya**, **Xquisittexabie, Ahotep, Roaming Phantom **and **Britix** for trying!

And… Eh heh… I can't help it; I have to give another Special Mention to **Risa-chan**. Cos, yanno, her review was blindingly fabbity. And I couldn't really put her in either of the above bits, cos she got 2 guesses wrong and one pretty much right… so… yeah. x3

And, finally, big smothering kisses to everyone else who reviewed:D

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Well, hell. Talk about time flying. It put Niou in mind of one of his favourite sayings; 'Time flies. We'll be dead before we know it, eh?' Yeah… that was always fun to use when there were plentiful supplies of midlifecrisisers nearby.

He rolled further onto his side and turned his digital clock around to face the opposite side of the bedroom, not really wanting to see the date or time.

April first. April Fool's day. Not a bad tradition really, Niou reflected, considering it came from England. The land of fools, as he liked to call them. Because, really, why the hell would you willingly put milk in _tea_? It was just… wrong.

But, anyway. April first. Four whole days since that party that Marui suggested, and that Yukimura got so enthusiastic about. It had sounded like a good idea at the time, you know? Yeah, let's have a graduation party, yeah, let's invite all the now-ex-third-years that we played tennis with, yeah. Great.

The party was held at Marui's, since he was the one who thought of it. He'd managed, after many promises and pleas, to get his parents to take Saku and Akio out for the night. They'd agreed to stay at a hotel on the condition that when they returned the next morning everything would be spick and span.

A small smirk crossed Niou's face briefly. There was no way a severely drunk Marui was gonna be able to clean up the whole house by the next morning, judging by the state of it when Niou had left. And he'd left early, too.

The smirk was immediately replaced with a frown.

God. God, god, god.

"Why me?" Niou asked out loud, purely to see if doing so really was as corny as it looked when it was done in films. It was, and he quickly shut up.

A split-second image of a most unwanted face appeared behind Niou's eyelids as he blinked. Oh, _great_. Annoyed as hell, Niou slammed his head deep into his pillow with a frustrated growl.

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_Four days earlier_

"For fuck's sake, Maru, act your damn gender," Niou snorted, aiming a kick at the giggling boy and missing completely. Hmm. Maybe he was a little drunker than he'd thought.

"I am!" Marui protested, grinning hugely up at the Trickster from the floor. "Guys giggle too, yanno. So… yeah, so there."

"Whatever." Niou left Marui in the questionable care of Akaya (why was he at the party, anyway? Honest to god, Niou sometimes thought Mura was blind when it came to his little protégé) and headed for the kitchen instead to get another drink.

"Niou."

Niou finished wrestling with the bottlecap before turning to the source of the voice. "Yeah, Hiroshi?"

Yagyuu was standing with a few others by the sink. Niou didn't bother to check them; he just ignored them and concentrated on his friend.

"I wonder if you could settle a little disagreement I'm having with Oshitari-kun?" Yagyuu asked, polite even when somewhat tipsy. "He believes that he can hold his liquor better than any of Rikkai Dai. I believe that he's wrong."

Amused, Niou shook his head. "Just tell him to stuff it. I'm not having a shot contest."

"I'd appreciate it if you'd prove me right."

"No. I don't really care what he thinks, Hiroshi. See you." Niou started to head out of the kitchen.

"Ha. Looks like you win by default, Oshitari. Figures; it was probably smart of him to just admit he's not as good as you."

That. Damn. Voice.

"Oh, yeah? You think I can't?" … Hey, wait, was that his own voice? Damn, he was sure he hadn't given his body permission to turn around…

"Well, _no_," Shishido mocked. "Obviously not, seeing as you're walking away."

Oh, _well_ then. "Hiroshi, pass the shot glass."

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"How much is that now?"

"Don't ask me. I'm sure that vodka bottle was full when they started, though…"

"Yeah."

Most of the people at the party were off in some other part of the house, but Niou and Oshitari's drinking competition had drawn a few people to watch in the doorway.

"You do know what you're doing to your livers, yes?" Yanagi said, feeling as though he should say something.

"Go 'way, Yanagi. No teenager ever stopped drinkin' to save… to save a forty year old stranger dyin' of liver failure," Niou said philosophically, waiting for Yagyuu to pour his next shot.

"I'm sure I read that exact quote in a Western book somewhere…" Inui said thoughtfully, glasses a little askew.

Between them, Niou and Oshitari had drunk three quarters of the bottle. Considering they'd both been reasonably drunk, or at least heavily tipsy to begin with, it was a wonder neither of them had passed out yet. But then, that was kind of the point.

"One, two…" They downed their shots, and their glasses were refilled. "One, two…" Down.

The bottle was coming close to empty when Oshitari finally raised his hand unsteadily in the air. "Alright, alright," he slurred. "Lost. Well done."

Niou found his victory considerably more hilarious than he should, laughing and half-leaning on Yagyuu's side. "Y'know," he grinned when he'd gotten the laughter under control, "we're gonna have one hellbitch of a hangover t'morrow, Osh'tari."

"Mm." Aided by an unamused Gakuto, Oshitari left the kitchen to get some fresh air in the front garden. Niou got up too, finding with surprise that he was able to more-or-less stand without help. Walking was a completely different matter, however.

With the competition and entertainment over, the few gathered people dispersed, heading probably towards the livingroom where Marui had hooked up his speakers to the computer and was murdering eardrums without pity. Niou followed, but found that the floor was tilted just a little too far to the left, and he crashed into the last person to leave the room, knocking them both over and into a cupboard.

"OW!" An angry hand smacked into Niou's shoulder, pushing him off. "Bloody idiot. Get off!"

"Not my fault!" protested Niou, rubbing his eyes to get them to focus properly. "You ok…? Oh. It's just you. Never mind."

"Never _mind_?"

Getting up with some difficulty, Niou sneered down at Shishido. "Yeah, never mind. M'sure your liddle loverboy c'n kiss it better when you get home."

Shishido scrambled upright, glowering furiously at his enemy. "Oh, yeah, you're _totally_ not jealous, are you? Just cos Choutarou likes me better than you. He does have _some_ taste."

"Obviously not, if he hangs round with you," Niou retorted, delighted that the copious amounts of alcohol in his system was only slightly inhibiting his snappy-comeback abilities.

"You take that _back_."

"Fuck off."

Shishido threw a punch. Reflexes pretty much shot to hell, pardoning the pun, Niou was sent reeling backwards, hips crashing into the table.

"Yeah? That all you got, richboy?" he jeered, fighting blood bubbling up now. "C'mon then! Wanna take it outside? Not enough room to fight in here."

"Plenty of room," Shishido growled, cracking his knuckles loudly.

"Oh, hey guys! Aren't you gonna come dance in the livingroom? It's kinda crowded but it's really fun, come on!"

Neither boy turned to look at Jirou, all sorts of metaphorical elements blazing between their locked eyes. "Alright, yeah, not enough room here," Shishido conceded. "Don't want someone to come save your ass from gettin' kicked."

"Fine." They turned and pushed past a puzzled Jirou, heading out of the back door since it was closer. Niou booted the door shut behind them, muting the music somewhat. Shishido didn't wait, sick to death of the insults and snide comments and looks and goddamn snickers he got every time he was near Rikkai's Trickster. He swung his fist with a yell, connecting solidly with Niou's lower jaw. Niou's back hit the brick wall, but they were in a narrow alleyway and he easily lashed out with a foot. It would have hit, but his vision chose that exact moment to spin again, and he missed completely.

By the time his lip and cheek were bleeding badly, Niou was wishing he hadn't won that damn shot contest.

"What happened? Where's the tough fucking smartass now?" Shishido snarled, backing off a couple of steps, breathing hard. He might be angry as hell, drunk, and male, but it wasn't in his nature to beat anyone up more than this kind of level. He might have a volatile temper, but he wasn't vicious.

However, Niou was. "Blame it on the damn vodka," he slurred, wiping his lip with a grimace. His eyes suddenly blazed, and before Shishido could move he was on the ground, yelling as a stray brick caught his arm. He got up just in time to avoid a violent stamp from Niou that would surely have broken his fingers, and got one more punch in before Niou pinned him with a crash against the wall, knocking the breath out of his lungs.

Forcing his lungs to work again, Shishido glared up into the face of the taller boy. Niou's face was flushed from alcohol and adrenaline, and his eyes were bright, too bright, almost manic. His mouth was twisted into a toothy leer, and a light sheen of sweat made stray hairs cling to his forehead.

Shishido dimly remembered Yagyuu telling him to avoid getting into a serious fight with the Trickster. Now he thought he knew why.

Niou Masaharu looked… dangerous.

"Let go," Shishido snapped, trying for a kick but discovering he couldn't quite bend his leg round enough to connect. A vague sensation of instinctual panic started to set in as Shishido realised that, actually, he couldn't move worth a damn. "Get off, Trickster!"

Then, somehow, Niou's mouth was on his, and hell if Shishido wasn't expecting _that_.

Niou suddenly pulled away, and he looked almost as shocked as Shishido felt.

Stunned speechless, Shishido stayed put as Niou let go, staggering several steps back, towards the end of the alleyway.

Words started tripping over his tongue as though on autopilot. "But… you have a thing for Choutarou! Don't you? You do! But… What?!"

Niou continued to back out of the alleyway. The music had changed to some sort of anti-dance rock theme, echoing around in his head.

"… Blame it on the damn vodka," Niou mumbled, and fled.

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So, yeah. Niou was _so_ not gonna have a drinking contest with anyone anytime soon.

Four days had been plenty of time to clear his head a bit, get his thoughts in something resembling the ordered chaos they were usually in, but it wasn't enough. Damn, and the first day of highschool was tomorrow. Gah. Mondays. The Devil's curse to mankind.

Niou really did blame his completely random kiss on the amount he'd had to drink. That, plus the adrenaline, and the fact that he was starting to realise just how much he was crushing on Ohtori with not much hope of his infatuation being returned.

Exactly. Infatuation. He'd developed, god only knew how since he didn't even see all that much of him, a strong crush on the silver-haired second year. Third year, Niou reminded himself; he was a third year starting tomorrow.

He was jealous as a very jealous Trickster of Shishido's close relationship with Ohtori.

He didn't like him at all. Well, it was always entertaining to see just how much he could wind him up, of course. But that was pretty much it.

Only, now, Niou was beginning to doubt himself just a bit. Just a tiny, insignificant little bit.

Just enough to throw Akaya out of the house as soon as he woke up every morning so that he could be alone in his room without being whined at. That was all.

… Yeah.

Niou made himself turn the clock back round to check the time, and nearly choked. It was eight pm _already_.

"Jeez… I really _will_ be dead before I know it," he muttered. He balefully eyed his mobile, which had been sitting on his bedside desk next to the clock for the last four days. Yukimura's name was right at the bottom of the list… it would be so easy to just ask for some help…

No. Absolutely not. Niou's pride refused to call him. He'd figure this out himself, thank you very much.

Oh, but Akaya was gonna be home soon…

"Bloody fucking sand goats in April and time incarnate!" Niou ranted, glaring furiously at his retreating pride. It waved a little white flag with a sorry-looking stick man on it at him, then hid in a corner to mope.

The dialling tone sounded in Niou's ear a lot quicker than he expected his hands to be able to move.

… And, of course, because life really just Didn't Like Him, the call went straight through to Yukimura's voicemail.

"Mura, it's 'Haru, and I am really pissed at you for having your phone switched off right now, seriously, so you'd _better_ get this before midnight otherwise I'll go round to yours and traumatise your little sister. I mean it. See, I have a problem. Well, not so much a problem as a complete meltdown of my ability to think like a normal human being. You can write me a letter at 29 Confused road, Confusedville, Confuzzledland. Get there as soon as you get this message, and give me some damn help over here." He hung up, annoyed. Then, as an afterthought, he rung the voicemail again and said, "And bring some popcorn. And juice would be nice."

Then, of course, he had to leave another voice message saying, "But don't bring anything remotely alcoholic, or I'll have to kill you. Slowly."

That should do. Satisfied for the moment, Niou lay back with his hands folded behind his head and contemplated his ceiling.

The doorbell rang. Startled, Niou sat up. He listened for the sounds of either his aunt or uncle going to get the door, but then he remembered that they were out somewhere. Cursing under his breath, he went to check out the window, almost expecting it to be, by incredible coincidence, Yukimura. But, no; the blue he could see below wasn't the blue of Yukimura's hair. It was the blue of a worn, frayed baseball cap.

… Crap.

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Sandy: Um, yeah… I just realised last night that the Nationals must have taken place in 2006, not 2007. So I've been setting the Drabblethings in 2008 by mistake. n.n;; Heh. Not like you can really tell, but… yeah… just so you know. They're happening Now, rather than in a year's time.

Also, try saying 'pushed past a puzzled Jirou' really fast five times. Bet you can't.

But, wooh, I'm happy with this Drabblething n.n Hope you liked it too! Please leave a review to tell me what you thought? Please? And if you included your favourite sentence/phrase/whatever in your review, then that would really help me out. Cos, yanno, I can use that to help improve my writing. Especially if lots of you do it. n.n

Next Drabblething will come when I get… Mm. I'm going to be greedy and say 24 reviews, cos that's just over a third of the people who have me on author alert :D So, yep, please review!

Until next time :3


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